


Road To Redemption

by saawinchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Arguments, Cheating Dean, Counseling, Infedelity, M/M, Marital Issues, Married Destiel, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Suicide Attempt, Therapy, Working things out, destiel kids - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:01:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21921877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saawinchester/pseuds/saawinchester
Summary: Xander was tired of all the fighting. He wished he hadn’t showed papa all those pictures on his dad’s phone of her- Lisa Braeden- months ago. Sure, dad and papa never argued in front of Xander and his little brother, but nowadays, they seemed to snap and quarrel without really taking notice of their kids presence.Then, the day dad and papa's quarrel turns to manhandling and physical abuse, was the last straw for 17 year old, Xander Winchester. He couldn’t take it anymore! He didn’t want his parents to be separated- ever! So Xander Winchester took the plunge….Dean and Cas had one hell of a wakeup call the day their firstborn decided that dying was much better than living.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Comments: 35
Kudos: 78





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Aplologies for deleting this fic in the first place. I don't expect any comments and kudos. Thanks.

**Xander**

He heard indistinct chatter. _Not loud. Not violent. Not angry._ Instead, was calm and carried some sort of worry. He wriggled his nose at that antiseptic stench. _Jeez horrible!_ His ears also began picking up the sound of beeping. _Huh! Reminded him of them heart monitors._ Maybe he should have a look?

He felt his eyelids twitch- damn was it a struggle to even pry his eyes open. Though, it took as much effort, he pushed through the heaviness in his eyelids- slowly light began to enter. Blurry at first, before his vision started to come into focus.

That’s when he heard a frantic, “Oh God Dean! He's awakening!”

“Get the doctor!” 

There was this shuffling before he felt someone card their fingers through his hair. That familiar gruff and deep tone of his dad, murmured, “Baby, daddy's here!”

He blinked his eyes and finally the sight of his tired and puffy eyed dad, hovering just to the side of him, came into focus. He croaked out, “Dad?” 

His dad had tears in his eyes, leaning down to lay a kiss on his forehead. “Oh baby. I’m so happy you’re awake. God, I love you so much!”

He was still confused- _what happened?_

He let his eyes roam, and lo behold- he saw that he was in a white room, laying down on some sort of hospital like recline bed, sheets pulled up to his mid waist. He turned his head to the side to see that there was indeed a heart monitor showing those neon green zig- zag lines as it beeped, plus, there was an IV bag whose line ran all the way down to his wrist. It was pretty clear where he was.

_In a hospital!_

That's when realization, much more scarier, hit him like a freight train. _He had done something bad_. He had intentionally hurt himself by finding some sort of weed killer in the toolshed- immediately taking a huge gulp of it. Then, he heard a scream- _Theo's_. His 15 year old brothers!

Then, he felt the bottle being tapped out of his hand. Exhaustion took over and next he knew, he was falling to the ground- _darkness claiming him._

But, he was pretty sure- he could still hear his parents arguing, even when his lights slowly began to dim out.

Now, he could feel how heavy and unsettled his insides were. Though it was dull.

_Oh God! He had tried to commit suicide!_

He felt a tear roll down the side of his temple and found himself uttering thickly though his lightly burning throat, “Dad. I’m sorry".

His dad immediately said, “No baby! You have nothing to be sorry for ok!” His dad carefully pulled him into his chest, chin rested atop his head, while hugging him. “Nothing is your fault! This is all on papa and I!”

While he cried into his dad’s chest, he heard the door to his room open. He instantly caught the scent of his papa and half unburied his face out of dad's chest to meet his papa's teary blue eyes. “Papa?” His papa, Castiel, immediately strode over, joining into he and dad's hug. 

Papa repeatedly kissed the top of his head, murmuring thickly, “It’s ok baby! Daddy and I are here for you! We love you so much honey!”

There was a foreign feminine soft voice that said from his bedside, “Pardon the interruption, but I need to check on your vitals, Mr. Xander Winchester".

He pulled out of the hug and nodded at the young brunette in a white coat whose name tag read **Dr. Masters.** But before he could focus on what Dr. Masters was doing, he caught a glimpse of his dad and papa hugging in a very warm, in love and comforting way. Dad rubbing his hand down papa's back while whispering something into his papa's ear that had him nodding gently into dad's shoulder. 

Xander thought he'd never get to see them like this- not after everything that has happened this last couple of months. 

_He wondered where things would go from here?_

**

**2 days later**

His papa was gonna head out to get some food. He used the opportunity to ask papa if he could sneak in some **_burgers and pie!_** _Hospital food’s gross, papa!_

This earned an unimpressed shake of head from his papa, before his papa ruffled his hair, “I’ll see what I can do bubs".

His heart skipped in excitement when he saw papa and daddy share a short kiss on the lips, before papa headed off. Dad, then walked towards him, rubbing the back of his neck. _Classic Dean Winchester sign of nervousness_. He chose to stay mum as his dad sat on the mattress, at the foot of the bed.

His dad touched his covered feet, “You ok?”

He was feeling much better. “Mhmm. When can I go home dad? I don't like the hospital".

“I know baby. We will have to wait for the hospital counselor to pay her visits some time tomorrow, plus, the doctors want to keep you in an extra day to ensure your health is fine before they decide to discharge you".

 _Uh!_ He had already had social services pay him an earlier visit. They were real pushy, but he chose to stick by his comments and protect his parents- even though his parents had encouraged him to speak the truth and that they would always love him, no matter what. Then, referrals happened, and now the counselor was informed. _Apparently, he had to talk about his emotions and thoughts to some stranger who preaches confidentiality!_

He harrumphed, “I don't want to talk to a quack dad! I’ll deal with things in my own way!”

Dean smiled sadly at his son, rubbing his foot through the sheets. “Baby its hospital protocol. Plus, I feel that talking to someone neutral would be a good way to release how you feel and what may be going through your mind”. His dad added with a downcast look, “I know that papa and I haven’t been there for you and Theo. It was poor parenting and…as for me- decision making and breaking loyalty to my family".

“Dad-". He tried to interject.

“No son. I have to own up to what I did all those months back”. His dad had tears in his eyes. He had never seen his dad openly shed tears before. His dad always carried a tough guy image and always maintained it- his dad was batman! _His hero!_ “Son, I have a lot to make up for and to work hard towards, but one things for certain. I am not losing my family!”

He smiled shakily, “I don't want to lose my family too, dad". 

His dad squeezed his foot lightly, “Good”. His dad added, “Papa and I want to shed some light on our plans to help work on strengthening our bond and marriage. We agreed and found it fair that you boys should at least know”.

“Ok dad".

_It was a start._

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I apologize for the late update. My father had passed away a week ago and I had to go through funeral arrangements and finally the burial that happened 3 days back. I took a few days to gather myself before I began working on this chapter.
> 
> Now I'm back. I will also work on my other fics. Anyway, constructive comments are welcomed. I know cheating, domestic violence and suicide aren't easy topics and pleasant experiences to go through. 
> 
> Warning: Mentions of suicide attempt, arguments and cheating. Please do not read if triggered easily!

Xander was finally going home. He had never been more grateful in his entire life, well besides the fact that his parents seemed to be ACTUALLY TALKING instead of arguing or fighting. _He could only wish that things progressed for the better_.

But, hospitals- _uh_ \- freaked Xander out. It was just- _depressing_ \- to be in such a dull and stirring environment. He felt like a prisoner or suspect or an experiment. He had to take whatever the doctors prescribed him, be prodded with needles, constantly asked questions and being restricted from eating certain things or going places. 

Xander was also thrilled that he was going to be reunited with his brother, Theo. He hadn’t seen his brother during his admission. His parents had decided to keep Theo with his Uncles Sam and Gabe until he was discharged, because well, Theo was kind of shaken up and also despised hospitals. _It wouldn't be fitting to traumatise Theo more than he was already subjected to._

Dean met his sons faraway look through baby's rear-view mirror. He saw that his son was in deep thought while staring out the back window. He asked, “Xan ,you ok baby?”

Xander’s eyes met his dad's concerned green eyes through the rear-view mirror. He released a small genuine smile, “Yes dad. I’m ok. Thanks". He missed this- his dad checking up on him every once in a while- something his dad had slowly stopped doing a few months before the cheating had occurred. As a matter of fact, both his papa and dad had seemed to behave awkwardly before his dad's huge mistake. _He had to wonder if his parents were already having a marriage breakdown but were keeping it quiet?_

Dean could see his son slip into that state of deep thought immediately after his answer- this time with furrowed brows. Nevertheless, he chose to stay mum and glance at his husband riding shotgun. Castiel looked lost in the scenery that they passed- not even moving his head- just staring. He could feel that inkling guilt and shame stir inside his chest- everytime he looked at his beautiful, blue eyed husband. Things weren’t so good between them, but they had hit a point where they have come to a deep realization the consequences of both their actions- _Dean with the cheating & both with the arguments and fighting before their kids._ It didn’t mean he had stopped caring- in fact he realized just how much he loved his husband- and that made himself hate himself even more. He pulled his thoughts in and asked, “Cas, you ok?”

Castiel snapped out of his blank stare and turned to face his concerned looking husband. Honestly, it’s been a long time since he's seen Dean give him this look and it honestly clawed at his heart. He didn’t have any anger left inside him for Dean, just a drained and tired resolve. He loved his husband so much- he always had. His love for Dean wasn’t debatable and he was willing to work on fixing this mess that had become their marriage because of his love for Dean and his kids. Well from the day their oldest had tried to take his life, he and Dean had decided that enough was enough. _No more fighting!_ They agreed that they wanted to fix their marriage rather then get a divorce. He nodded at his husband, “I’m ok Dean”.

Dean responded, “Ok honey".

The rest of the drive down to Sam and Gabe's place was spent in quietness.

**

Xander was jumped by Theo the second he entered Uncle Sam and Gabe's home. “Xander you’re back! I’m so happy you’re ok!” _Oh how those words made Xander’s heart squeeze in guilt._

Xander hugged his brother back just as hard. He didn’t want to let go of his little brother, who always looked up to him. He could already feel tears running down his cheeks as he finally felt complete. His baby brother was his world and he would take care of him all his life- even if he moved away to college or wherever life took him after highschool, he would still find a way to care for his little bro. He rubbed at Theo's back, murmuring into his brothers shirt, “Its ok bro. I’m ok”. He felt his parents hands squeeze him lightly on the shoulder- comfortingly.

Theo pulled out of the hug, smiling at his teary eyed brother. He wiped at his brothers tears, “I love you, Xander”.

Xander could only let more tears fall as his baby brother got all delicate with him. He choked out, “I love you too, Theo".

After the brotherly hug, Theo jumped into the arms of both his parents. In unison, Dean and Castiel hugged their youngest back, peppering him with kisses into his hair.

Theo smiled into his parents shirts, “I missed you dad and papa!”

Dean and Cas both responded, “Missed you too baby".

When they finally got out of the hug, Castiel thumbed at his little ones freckled cheek. “Were you good to Uncle Sam and Gabe?”

Before Theo could answer, Sam’s voice replied from behind Xander, “Oh he's been amazing".

“An angel", Gabriel added.

Sam and Gabe had engulfed Xander in a hug while asking him if _he was ok_ and _telling them how much they loved him_. This went on for several minutes before Gabe said, “Xander, Theo, let’s head over to the kitchen. I’ve got a freshly baked apple pie with your names on it".

Xander and Theo's eyes bugged out, both looking excited as they followed their Uncle Gabe into the kitchen. Meanwhile, leaving Sam, Dean and Castiel behind to smile at the excited duo.

Once the boys were out of sight and earshot, Sam finally addressed Dean and Cas. “Gabe and I want to talk to the both of you. Follow me to my office where we can all talk in private".

Dean saw his brother slip on his serious, ‘ _don't test me'_ look. Yup. Sam was pissed and ready to release his ‘ _use your head_ ' talk. Oh boy. Guess he deserves it and he bet Castiel feels the same. He wrapped an arm around Cas shoulder, replying, “Ok Sam. Lead the way".

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this chapter!🙂

Sam entered his office followed by Cas and Dean. He gestured for his brother and brother in law to take a seat on the leather sofa, whilst he occupied the office chair in front of his mahogany desk. 

Sam wanted to wait for Gabe, but, he was itching to speak his mind. He leaned forward on his swivel chair and fixed a quiet Cas and Dean with an unimpressed look. “I am very disappointed in both of you”.

Dean rubbed a hand tiredly down his face, “Sam, please…”.

“No Dean! You need to both hear this!” Sam took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves, before he spoke, “Theo told me what has been happening in your household. He told me about the fights, he told us about Xander trying to end his life and he told me how scared he was”.

Castiel felt a tremendous surge of guilt. He believed that Dean also felt the same, as his husband’s eyes fell to the floor- studying the varnished floorboards with a devastated look. He couldn’t find the right words to explain himself. Well, there was nothing to explain. Really. They were just bad parents.

Gabriel walked into a tense, yet, absolutely quiet office. Sam was fixing Dean and Cas a glaring look, whilst, Castiel and Dean had their heads bowed, as if they were drowning in shame. Maybe they were! He decided to break the tensed silence by saying, “the boys are chomping down on pie and catching up on a movie”.

Sam released a small smile, “Thanks hon”.

Gabe took a seat on the singles chair and joined in the quietness. He could see just how worn out Castiel and Dean were. And, he was willing to bet that it was more than just physical- they looked emotionally and mentally drained too. Who wouldn’t be, after the ordeal of nearly losing their eldest child.

Sam spoke up, once again, “Dean. Cas. Gabe and I don’t want to butt our noses into your personal lives. Truly. It’s just….the kids have been affected…and, we just can’t remain quiet and allow things to manifest for all the wrong reasons”.

Castiel nodded, holding tears in his eyes. “We see that, Sam”. He rested a hand on his husbands thigh, “Dean and I have come to an agreement”.

Gabe commented heavy heartedly, “I hope it’s not divorce guys. The last thing these boys need is seeing their parents split up”.

Dean felt even more like an ass right now. He was the one that mentioned divorce to Cas when things were bad between them. He regretted it the instant he had calmed down, but, he was too prideful and arrogant to tell Cas that he had made a mistake. The fights only grew then; and look where it’s led them to. Nevertheless, he had finally told Cas, after the incident involving Xander, that he didn’t want a divorce. Never did and never will. He lost his way, and, he wouldn’t blame Cas for choosing to kick his ass to the curb. But, his husband was an amazing human being. Castiel had decided to give Dean another chance. And here they were, agreeing that they needed to work things through. They were both willing to. So, he was the one to speak this time. “We have decided to work on our marriage, Gabe. I will do whatever it takes. Cas will do whatever it takes. I love my boys. We both do and we will fight to get through these tough times”.

“Do the boys know this, Dean?” Sam probed.

Dean squeezed Cas hand that was on his lap. He met his brothers eyes, “Xander knows, Sammy. We will talk to both Theo and Xander again, once we get home”.

“And what about the loud fights?” Gabe uttered. “That can’t be happening before them. It’s scarring them for life”.

Castiel felt his heart drop at Gabe’s words. He replied, “if we have our hard times, Dean and I will talk. Not yell at each other or over each other. We will also talk things out behind closed doors. We feel bad for hurting our children. We realize the we have hurt them. And, we are willing to go through counseling. The boys for trauma. And Dean and I for marriage counseling”.

Sam looked much more relaxed now, “Well great!” The man smiled lightly, “I don’t think that we need to go into more details. Just…just know that Gabe and I are here for all of you. No matter what. Ok”.

Dean’s smile didn’t reach his eyes, replying, “Thanks bro. Thanks Gabe”.

Castiel nodded in agreement. “We really appreciate your support”.

There was a knock on Sam’s office door. Everyone glanced at the door to see Theo peaking his head in. “Dad. Papa. Can we go home now?”

Dean smiled warmly at his youngest. He got up from the seat, walked towards his son and pulled him into his arms, laying a kiss atop his head. He murmured, “ok baby. Go get your brother ready”.

Theo couldn’t be more happy. He missed home. He missed his family.

**  
The boys sat on the sofas of their home living room. They had just arrived back from Uncle Sam and Gabe’s home; papa and daddy said that they wanted to speak with them. It was towards the evening, nearing dinner time, so papa said that after they have a brief talk then he’d start working on dinner.

The boys sat side by side, leaning into each other for support. Their parents sat on the opposite side. Theo noticed how his daddy and papa were snuggled into each other. Hmm. That was something nice to see; as opposed to the hostility he normally noticed between his parents as of late. 

Something had changed. Well. It had to!

Theo whispered to Xander, “seems like papa and daddy have something important to tell us”.

Xander already knew. It probably had something to do with what daddy had said about fixing things. He just wondered what. He nodded and whispered back, “Mhmm. I believe they do”.

Dean and Castiel had their fingers threaded. They stared at their children’s curious looks. They could see their kids were thinking. So, Dean cut to the chase. Hence with a heavy heart, he said, “Boys. Firstly, I owe you and papa a big apology. I want to be up front and honest with all of you. Xander you already discovered this. Months back, I had an affair with someone named Lisa Braeden. I had ended things with not too long after the affair, but, the damage was already done”. He felt tears pool in his eyes, “I just want you boys to know that I was an idiot. I was a fool who was tempted so easily. And, I let my emotions get the best of me. I hurt your papa. I hurt you boys. And, I know that no amount of apology will make up for what I had done. All I can say is, I’m deeply sorry and I will work on earning all your trusts, if you will permit me”. He felt Castiel squeeze his hand in reassurance. He and Cas already talked earlier and they had already decided what they would do. But, the boys opinions mattered too.

Theo and Xander glanced at one another briefly. They were brothers who could read each other very well. Theo nodded, “Ok dad. We want things to work out for the best too. Xander and I just want you and papa to be happy, so we can be happy too”.

“Theo and I forgive you dad”, Xander told his emotional father. “How do we work on getting better? All of us?”

Castiel allowed Dean to process his emotions. He answered, “we will attend counseling sessions. We will talk about our emotional and mental hardships. Daddy and I will attend marriage counseling, whilst, both you boys go for counseling with Missouri. Is this ok?”

Theo always followed his big brother’s lead; so, he let Xander answer for the both of them. Xander nodded, “Ok papa and dad. We will go for counseling”.

Dean sniffled and smiled shakily at his boys. “Good”.

Yeah, there were many hurdles, but, Theo believed that everything would be ok. Time has to do some healing of its own.

_**First part of series ended….** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’m sorry, but, I have decided to end this fic here. I still face a writers block with this fic, so, I have decided to add the final chapter that has plans for a long term solution towards mending Destiel relationship along with dealing with their kids issues. 
> 
> I think it’s wise that I split the fic into different parts of a series. This way, I will write once I get back into the funk of continuing this fic. Please do not worry, I will find inspiration to add the second part to this fic soon.
> 
> Thank you to all who have read, commented and kudos. You are amazing as usual. I hope you enjoy this chapter.


End file.
